Quite possibly everything that is wrong with America can be summed up with how the characters act in the MTV reality television show “The City.”
I only bring this up because I just got an e-mail that a recent episode of the show was about “The Hamptons.”
Many city tourists that come out to the Hamptons wonder why locals can’t stand them. Locals come up with names like, citiot, summer people, moron, *$$hole, etc… and certain city people think to themselves, “Why would anybody say that about me? I’m wonderful.”
Well, if there is anything good about the recent episode of “The City” it is a picture perfect, scientific example of what it means to be a “Citiot.”
If you’re from the city and reading this please start taking notes and watch this episode and then make it a point to act the exact opposite of how these people act while spending a weekend out here.
And while I’m on this subject, New York Magazines portrayal of what to do and not to do while out in “The Hamptons” is embarassing. I really am just stupified that New York Magazine stooped down to the same level as “The City.” I’m not kidding you, this is an exerpt from the New York Magazine article which explains “what to do and not to do in the Hamptons.”
Lesson 6: Facial hair.
Don’t: Grow a goatee if you can’t. Harry has a horrible start to a goatee on his chin. It looks like he rubbed oil around his mouth and then dipped his face in instant coffee.
Do: Experiment with stubble if Attracting Whitney Port is on your list of things to do. Naturally Whitney, who dated Jay the Barbarian, is drawn to Harry Coffeeface.
Just shoot me directly in the face, please.
November 9th, 2009 at 10:35
Next time I am out in the hamptons I will purposely act like a citiot. With my news camera’s crew following me around.
Lesson Plan for Hamptoners visiting the city
#1:
Do: Walk fast, see a play, visit central park & empire state building.
Do Not: actually look up at buildings like a tourist or carry a map in front of you while walking like a snail or a citiot will run you over.