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Citiots: Please Kill Me
November 6th, 2009

Quite possibly everything that is wrong with America can be summed up with how the charachters act in the MTV reality television show “The City.”

I only bring this up because I just got an e-mail that a recent episode of the show was about “The Hamptons.” 

Many city tourists that come out to the Hamptons wonder why locals can’t stand them. Locals come up with names like, citiot, summer people, moron, *$$hole, etc… and certain city people think to themselves, “Why would anybody say that about me? I’m wonderful.”

Well, if there is anything good about the recent episode of “The City” it is a picture perfect, scientific example of what it means to be a “Citiot.”

If you’re from the city and reading this please start taking notes and watch this episode and then make it a point to act the exact opposite of how these people act while spending a weekend out here.

And while I’m on this subject, New York Magazines portrayal of what to do and not to do while out in “The Hamptons” is embarassing. I really am just stupified that New York Magazine stooped down to the same level as “The City.” I’m not kidding you, this is an exerpt from the New York Magazine article which explains “what to do and not to do in the Hamptons.”

Lesson 6: Facial hair.
Don’t: Grow a goatee if you can’t. Harry has a horrible start to a goatee on his chin. It looks like he rubbed oil around his mouth and then dipped his face in instant coffee.
Do: Experiment with stubble if Attracting Whitney Port is on your list of things to do. Naturally Whitney, who dated Jay the Barbarian, is drawn to Harry Coffeeface.

Just shoot me directly in the face, please. 

Click Here To Read New York Magazine’s Article 

Click Here To Watch The Full Episode At MTV.com

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Dan Rattiner The Artist
November 4th, 2009

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The Winter Tree Gallery
125 Main St. #2f  ·  P.O. Box 1463
Sag Harbor, New York  11963

 

Dan Rattiner
Drawings & Cartoons 1957-2009
november7–january7, 2010
Opening reception
Saturday, November 7, 4-7p.m.

Mr. Rattiner will sign copies of his book
631-725-0097  ·  parking in rear
Also signing
Saturday, Dec. 19,
4-7p.m.

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art shows | Post a Comment »

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And It’s Over!
November 4th, 2009

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Or has it just begun?

WILKINSON WINS EAST HAMPTON, HOLST WINS SOUTHAMPTON

 

East Hampton changes the tide and turns Republican. Southampton changes the tides and turns Democrat.

 

Click here for election results of all the towns. 

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Halloween At Dan’s
October 30th, 2009

 

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Yep, we like to get dressed up on Halloween at the office here at Dan’s Paper. Above are some fully committed employees, Classified Saleswoman Kathy Bruswitz Camarata is the Pirate on the left, Creative Director Lianne Alcon is Tim Burton’s Red Queen, Classified Sales Director Lori Berger is the pirate on the right, Production Director Genevieve Salamone is the Devil on the right.

Is your office dressed up today? E-mail me a photo at david@danspapers.com and I’ll put you on the site.

 

 

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Calling All Artists! LOGO CONTEST! 50th Anniversary
October 30th, 2009

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Create a new Dan’s logo for 2010!

To kick off it’s 50th Anniverary Celebration in 2010, Dan’s Papers is reaching out to artists and graphic designers to create and submit logo designs for out 50th Anniversary Logo Contest!

The winning logo will be prominently featured throughout 2010 in a variety of ways, including:

On the cover of Dan’s Papers each week

On our website danshamptons.com and in various promotional and marketing materials.

In addition to all of this, the winner’s bio will apear on the Index page of the paper each week. The winning artist will forever bea  part of the Dan’s Papers legend. 

If you’d like to submit, email dans50th@danspapers.com or drop off your submission at the office located at 2221 Montauk Hwy in Bridgehampton. All artwork must be submitted no later than Monday, November 30, 2009.

Good luck!

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Yankees Win!
October 26th, 2009

This video says it all.

Wait until 2 minutes into it. It’s worth it.

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Coast Guard Gets Raw Deal
October 26th, 2009

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The picture above is a picture of the Coast Guard Cutter boat in Montauk during waves created by Hurricaine Bill this year. It’s an unbelievable shot, and was published by many newspapers in the Hamptons, displaying the courage, skill, and power that the brave men and women that serve and protect for the United States Coast Guard stationed in Montauk.

It has just been announced that A New York Coast Guard officer,  Chief Petty Officer James Weber, has been relieved of his command for not being qualified to operate the Cutter in such a manner and for putting himself and his crew in a dangerous situation that could have been avoided.

I can’t remember the last time I heard more bull$#!! than that. First of all, we should be happy that we have young men who are willing to face dangerous surf like this. If there was somebody that needed to be rescued, I’d want a person and crew that could operate a boat like this heading my way. Second of all, I was one of the people that watched this boat operate in this surf, and this photo is dramatic compared to what they were actually doing, which was operating the boat the ocean and WHICH IS THEIR JOB!

The announcement said that the coast guard petty officer was not “qualified” to operate a boat in such a way. What makes a person qualified? I think you become pretty qualified when you decided to commit to dedictating your entire life protecting or coasts, risking your life regularly, heading out into some of the worst conditions imaginable, to save a life, who under almost all circumstances are the real idiots.

This is a clear cut example of how wimped out our organizations have become that are suppossed to be our brave/strong/and bold, thanks to fear of lawsuits or bad press/politics . STOP BEING THIS WAY.

I WANT my Coast Guard be brave enough and skilled enough to go out into surf like this in a Cutter just like I WANT my fighter pilots and helicopter pilots to be brave enough to push their planes and just like I WANT my police officers to handle a car at top speeds and my lifeguards to handle jet skis.

Was this officer drunk? No. Did he steal the boat without authorization? No. Was he high on drugs? No.

His superiors should be protecting him from people trying to say that this was out of line, and discipling him internally if they felt it was too dangerous.

His superiors should be explaining to any inquiry from anybody that the photo was part of a drill, that it was a dramatic shot and not typical of how the boat was handled the entire day, and then, if the superior felt it was too dangerous , he/she should discipline him within the organization so he doesn’t do it again and not ruin a man’s reputation for doing what he thought was right. If the superiour doesn’t like the photo, then he/she should send the Petty Officer on bathroom cleaning duty. Pushups all night in the rain. Something that teaches this young man a lesson, NOT RUIN HIS ENTIRE FAITH IN THE ORGANIZATION HE HAS DEDICATED HIS ENTIRE LIFE TO AND BELIEVES IN.

This Petty Officer got such a Raw Deal based on the information the press has just recieved. Not only that, but the decision also makes the leadership in the Coast Guard look weak and pathetically political.

 

 

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Go BONAC FOOTBALL
October 21st, 2009

Your truely, a former quarterback for the East Hampton Bonackers, couldn’t help but smile after the East Hampton Bonackers sent Deer Park packing with a 35-14 win, making the boys in maroon’s record to 5 and 1.

(When I played, our best record was 4 and 4)

Quarterback Austin Heneveld scord two touchdowns during the game with Brenden Mott scored another two. You got to hand it to what coach Bill Barbour Jr. is doing with the program.

East Hampton is playing Rocky Point this Friday and if they win that, they are without question headed to the playoffs, which will be the first time this has happened since 2004! GO BONAC!

The season is already wrapping up to be one of the most exciting and interesting ones ever, if the Bonackers can keep their rhythm and focus for the next two weeks, it will be the best.

Remeber this powerbomb from 2006? I can never get enough of this.

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Oh Please Let This Be Back
October 21st, 2009

Is real estate quietly making a comeback with the stock maket? That would be very nice indeed. Bloomberg.com is reporting that Hamptons homes rose 4.7 percent in the third quarter amid a surge in sales of properties from $2 million to $5 million.

Looks like the sideline buyers are coming out onto the field. Will this continue is the big question that everybody wants to know.

Historically, you can’t go wrong with buying Hamptons real estate.

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Spooktacular
October 21st, 2009

There is the party in Southampton at the Publick House, where costumers can win $500 if they show up in something brilliantly hilarious.

Sag Harbor resident and passionate fundraiser Andrea Weymouth is bringing that same idea to NYC for a night of raising money for the challenged disabled. Click here if you want to go to Spooktacular for a good cause!

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